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The Postcard Portrait of An UN-Leader
This article was first printed in the November 2013 issue of Biblical Insights.
I wrote something to the church; but Diotrephes, who loves to be first among them, does not accept what we say. - 3rd John 9-10
There is a man in the New Testament who rates only two verses in the post card note of 3rd John. Yet in those two verses that we learn a lot about what Christ-like leadership is about—or, better still, what it is not about.
His name was Diotrephes and he remains the classic prototype for a negative role model when it comes to leadership. There are both good and bad role models and we can learn from each. In the case of brother Diotrephes, all you have to do is study what he did and… do the opposite.
Years ago the 7-Up brand of soft drink hit a home-run with a remarkable ad campaign. They proudly called themselves the “UnCola” and soon found their niche in the marketplace. The ads did not tell us one positive thing about their beverage. Rather, they made clear what they were NOT: We’re not Coke or Pepsi… We’re the UnCola! The key word in their campaign wasn’t a word at all, but a prefix (“un”) denoting something that is opposite. Sales surged!
In 3rd John we learn more about leadership in two verses than in some entire books. All we have to do is study what a leader is not—from an un-leader with a funny name.
A Letter from Dear John
The “disciple whom Jesus loved” (John 13:23; 19:26; 20:2; 21:7, 20) knew about leadership having spent forty-two months walking alongside the King of kings and Lord of lords (the greatest leader ever). John ate with Jesus, rode into the storm with Jesus, confronted enemies with Jesus, slept under the stars with Jesus, watched Him die, and then stared at Him until He disappeared into the heavens. John never got over those forty-two months. Even when he wrote the gospel account bearing his name, he had a difficult time bringing it to a conclusion:
And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books that would be written. - John 21:25
How do you end a book about Someone who has no end? How do you put a period on an infinite story? And after forty-two months, don’t you think John picked up some valuable pointers about leadership from the One who modeled it best?
So here is John—brimming over with the teaching and example of Jesus—confronting a “wanna-be-leader” who had not one clue about genuine spiritual leadership.
“I wrote something to the church…” (v.9a). A first century letter from an apostle was a big deal. When the letter arrived, the church assembled and someone read it aloud. None of us were there that day, but you can imagine John’s letter to the church went off as if someone had lit an explosive! We know for certain that whatever John said, brother Diotrephes rejected it. And now in the apostle’s brief follow-up note to “the beloved Gaius,” he calls out Diotrephes by name.
Definition of a Leader
The best definition of a leader is this: A leader is someone who leads. That’s it? That’s it. However, don’t let the simplicity of that definition fool you. It is a profound statement.
You can have a lot of titles behind your name or on a business card, but they don’t make you a leader. You can be called “President,” “Quarterback,” “Principal,” “Teacher,” “Preacher,” “Elder,” “Husband,” or “Dad”—but none of those make you a leader. You’re only a leader if you…lead.
Diotrephes wanted to be a leader so bad he could taste it. He thought he was. But he wasn’t. In truth, he was the un-leader.
Five Marks of an Un-Leader
1. An un-leader is an un-servant, v.9a. It didn’t take the apostle long to nail Diotrephes as an impostor-leader. And why? Because he “loves to be first.” This man was acting contrary to Jesus’ teaching about genuine servant leadership (Mark 9:35; Matt.18:4; 20:26-28). The one thing that sets Christ-like leadership apart from any other type is this: the Christian leader leads by serving.
Someone has well said, “Christian leadership is giving your best without having to be first.” The truth be known, there are a lot like Diotrephes. They want to be first and lead through intimidation and domination. However, until that individual is willing to change and become a servant-leader (at home, in the church, at work, etc.) he will never be the leader God seeks for is people.
2. An un-leader is un-teachable, v.9b. Diotrephes was not teachable because he had declared himself to be the authority (“he does not accept what we say”). The author of the original letter to the church was a man handpicked by the Son of God and, as such, he had impeccable authority. In fact, he was inspired by God (Matt.18:18; 1 Cor.2:10ff). Diotrephes, however, didn’t have time for John or anyone else. Why? He was un-teachable.
He was also arrogant (the two go together). Not only did he not care about apostolic authority (just as some reject it today), he didn’t care about what was best for the church. It was all about him. Here it is: if you have an un-teachable spirit, you have no chance in going to heaven. Heaven is for those who have “grown up” in Christ (2 Pet.3:18). How can you “grow up” in Christ without a humble and teachable spirit?
3. An un-leader is unjust, v.10a. Diotrephes had been “unjustly accusing us with wicked words” (“gossiping maliciously about us” NIV). This was serious stuff. He not only ignored apostolic authority, but had begun to level lies against God’s spokesman.
I wonder how many good people over the years have been wounded by verbal bombs and unjust accusatory words (slander, gossip, lies, etc.)? John pulls no punches and calls it exactly what it is: “wicked words.” In one word—it is SIN!
Is it possible for people claiming to be a part of the Lord’s church to act like that? Sadly, yes. Do you really think Diotrephes was the last to do so? Words are powerful for both good and evil—they can either build up or tear down. We know how Diotrephes chose to use his.
4. An un-leader is un-hospitable (I know the correct word is “inhospitable,” but humor me J). Diotrephes “does not receive the brethren.” The apostle John sent good brethren to assist the church where Diotrephes lived, but he refused them. Gaius, on the other hand, welcomed them (vv.5-6).
There is more involved here than just hospitality. Diotrephes not only refused them, he refused those who didn’t refuse them! “…he forbids those who desire to do so [receive them] and puts them out of the church.” How could he do that? In his mind, it was the church of Diotrephes rather than the church of Christ. This was the classic power-struggle and Diotrephes wasn’t going down without a fight.
I am confident that he sought to justify his actions so as to divert attention away from his real motives (Diotrephes-like people always do that). But John knew. And so did Jesus—who said to us: “you will know them by their fruits” (Matt.7:20).
5. An un-leader has an un-happy family. Where does it say that? It doesn’t. But it’s common sense. How would you like to have been Mrs. Diotrephes? Or Diotrephes, Jr? Or his in-laws? People with these arrogant qualities will usually have a miserable family (which is why so much emphasis is placed upon a church-leaders family—1 Tim.3:4-5). Real leaders serve, keep on learning, watch their words, sacrifice for others, and understand that humble leadership begins at home.
Given the sad example of Diotrephes, I must ask the simple question: Are you a leader or are you a un-leader?
